How to Fix a Broken Relationship

Figuring out how to fix a broken relationship is never easy – but the very first step is acknowledging that your relationship really is broken, and if you’re reading these words it means that you’ve already come that far.

Maybe you’ve considered breaking up with your partner, or maybe you’ve just started to notice that things between the two of you aren’t like they used to be, and you’re both arguing and fighting a lot more over seemingly trivial things.

One of the biggest hurdles you’re going to face right at this very point is getting over the hurt and pain that you may be feeling to actually start doing something about fixing your relationship before things get any worse!

Identify the Problem(s)

Chances are you already know some of the issues that are ruining your relationship, but if you want to learn how to fix a broken relationship you need to be willing to sit back and think hard about the problems that you and your partner are facing.

Maybe you haven’t been appreciating your partner enough or maybe one of you cheated on the other? Perhaps you hurt your partner in some way? Or maybe you’re suspicious of them and want to find out if your partner is cheating?

Whatever the reason – identifying your problems as quickly as possible will help you start to move forward and possibly even solve them!

Make an Effort

Remember this: The only person that you can change is yourself. No matter how much you want to, you can’t change your partner or make them figure out how to fix a broken relationship.

This is something that is up to you and you alone to start, regardless of how receptive your partner is initially.

Although changing the past is impossible, now that you’ve identified the problems in your relationship you should be able to take the first steps towards dealing with the situation.

Try to put more into the relationship if you can. Start by showing respect towards your partner, especially if in the past you found that it was one of the first things to go out the window when the two of you started arguing.

In due time, you should be able to even start showing the love and affection that you once did!

Moving On Through Forgiveness

Because both you and your partner have hurt each other – if you really do intend to figure out how to fix a broken relationship you’re going to need to learn how to forgive them for whatever they may have done to you.

If you aren’t able to do this, you’ll find that all the old grudges and pent-up pain begin to fester sooner or later, and that could kill off your relationship completely.

At this stage, you shouldn’t heap expectations on your partner. While it would be nice if they forgave you for what you’ve done too – it doesn’t work that way. Just as it took you time to process and come to this realization, it is going to take time too!

Reopening the Lines of Communication

The hardest part of learning how to fix a broken relationship is this: Starting to communicate again.

Most couples that have been going through troubled times end up facing a total breakdown in communication. It isn’t just that people generally don’t communicate well when they’re hurt or angry, but in a broken relationship, it is also the fact that your partner probably doesn’t trust you enough to have an open conversation about your mutual relationship.

Hopefully, now that you’ve taken it upon yourself to put in extra effort and forgive your partner, the two of you will have the catalyst you need to reopen the lines of communication.

Do not let this talk collapse into an argument. Remember to always be respectful and never judgmental. This is not about laying blame, but rather it is about fixing your relationship and mending the fences.

Both of you will undoubtedly have your own perceptions and opinions about what went wrong, and it is only by sitting down and actually talking about it that you can hope to figure out how to fix a broken relationship fully.

But with a little bit of luck, if you commit to following these steps you should be able to honestly say that your relationship problems are a thing of the past!

The Dumper or the Dumpee?

The question that is now on your mind may be: Why does it matter who causes the relationship to break up? Well the simple fact is that there is a share of the blame for the demise of any relationship. There may be more of a share that falls on one person than the other, but there is almost NEVER a 100%:0% split as far as responsibility for a separation goes. However there are several factors that play into a relationship from the perspective of the dumper, the person that is breaking up the relationship, and the dumpee, the person that is being dumped that have a major effect on the relationship and the break up. From the perspective of both parties, there are several aspects of a relationship breaking up. First is the relationship and the dynamic of it. Second is the actual break up. Third is finally moving on.

The first thing to think about when there is a break up is the relationship itself and the dynamic of that relationship. For example, what did both parties have in mind when they first got together. Many relationships are simply casual, friendly relationships. This mean that they each hand around in the relationship until it is not fun anymore. For some of the more shallow cases that are out there, this means when the sex becomes boring, the company stale, or the longing for greener pastures comes surfacing. A “break up” of a casual relationship like this one is usually a mutual agreement, but if one person mistakenly expects something different than casual dating with his or her significant other, there may be broken hearts in the near future. Tip: Before the relationship begins, set your expectations. If the other person is looking for something casual, count on that being the case. Making the relationship into something you are not when it comes to relationships is not a good thing to do. Know yourself. If this is too tough of a decision to make or if this is too tough for you to do because you are not the “casual” type, the best thing for you to do is avoid this type of relationship.

If on the other hand you are ready to settle down, also make these types of intentions clear to your potential significant other. If you don’t set out the rules before hand, it may lead to confusion and hurt later.

Another thing you can take a look at from both perspectives is the actual break up itself. As was mentioned before, blame can usually be place on both parties of a relationship. Irreconcilable differences, infidelity, and loss of interest are all factors that can trigger a break up. From the perspective of the person who is dumping his or her significant other, the break up of the relationship may simply be something that he or she has an issue with him or herself over. Many times when a relationship fails, it is because one or the other or both of the parties has unresolved problems to deal with that make a relationship very difficult. If you have so many things to work on yourself, it is often very difficult to focus the time, energy, and dedication that it takes to make a relationship work. Tip: Before you end the relationship

On the other hand, the breakup could be a result of something more irreconcilable, such as infidelity. If you are suspicious of your spouse, you can click here to learn more about how you can address the situation.

Finally, part of any relationship break up is moving on from it afterwards. This is one of the most difficult steps to breaking up that happens. It is so difficult because the dumpee usually feels sad, angry, and depressed over the ending of the relationship. In many cases, the dumper does not feel like any other way will work to resolve the problems in his or her life. By moving on in a healthy way, the separated loved ones are allowed to go through life with a new start.

As you have seen, there are many different facets from many different perspectives of the end of a relationship. Blame can never TRULY be assigned in one direction or another. As hard as it is to let go of a relationship, the best thing to do is to pick up the pieces of you and try to move on the best you can.